And still it goes

June 23, 2025

Sorry I haven't been on here or able to visit your blogs lately. My one focus is my husband right now.. It's been nothing but constant and recurring stuff with Jerry.

Last week, Jerry spent his seventh week this year in the hospital for kidney stones and the psuedomonas UTIs. Whenever he's in the hospital, I spend as much time with him as possible since I dare not drive my car out-of-town to see him at the nursing home.

The new urologist we started going to for Jerry did a cystoscopy and put a stent in the ureter. He could not safely remove the stones due to the possibility that doing so would cause the baceteria to go elsewhere in Jerry's body. Nope, don't need that.

I cannot even begin to tell you how tiring this has become for Jerry. I'm watching my husband go downhill faster and faster. He just doesn't have a lot of strength right now ... the constant pain and antibiotic infusions are wearing him out. He has lived with chronic pain from multiple medical conditions since we got married (1995), and what they're giving him doesn't even touch his pain.

We're both so done with this. Too many rides back and forth in the uncomfortable nursing home bus to doctor appointments, too many ambulance rides, too much of too much.... I want to scream and Jerry wants to just cry because it's just not going away.

Can I just be honest? I don't want to hear anymore of "hang in there, it'll get better" from people. I know they mean well, but ..........

Arrrrrrrrrrg!!!!!

Thirty years married to this man and nothing has ever gotten better for him.

I don't have time for anything else in life except to be there for my husband.

I do praise the Lord. As long as I have breath, I will praise His Name.

I do go to church on Saturday if Jerry isn't in the ER or hospital (I go Saturday at 5:00 because there are less people to deal with than the crowdedness of the two Sunday worship times).

Oh! And a small update on his mental health/cognitve impairments. The doctors all like to use the blanket term dementia and don't really get things done for patients anymore. But the nursing home where he has to be for the infusion is paired with two much-sought-after and regionally known doctors, one for talk therapy and the other is a psychotropic medication specialist. Jerry does have some dementia, but now we have a tentative diagnosis of a personality disorder, which I've tried to tell doctors for a long time. The talk therapist wants two or three more sessions with Jerry before discussing any medications with the med specialist. Yay!

Okay, anyway ... Jerry's check-in time is tomorrow (June 24) at 9:30 a.m. and surgery is scheduled for 11:00 a.m. ... that's Central time. If you are a praying person, we really could use the prayers. And we thank you in advance.

Gotta go get some things done before tomorrow. I'll try to keep you updated.

Always,

Diana 🌻